Many parents wonder why their children do not perform well at school while offering them everything: artistic and sports activities, additional teaching support, learning foreign languages, playing, and rest with the closure of schools. It is a frequent belief that our successes in one or more activities “build” our self-confidence.
But the reality is not like that at all. True self-esteem does not come from external factors but from the inner sense of acceptance and love for oneself just as it is Children with low self-esteem are not only unable to achieve learning and social goals in their school life, but they often feel inadequate even when they achieve most of their goals. At the same time, they feel that they would like in every way to achieve all that their loved ones expect in order not to lose the positive interface they have with them. That’s why when things don’t go right, they become very unhappy.
On the contrary, children with high self-esteem achieve their goals more easily and retain their cheerful energy, even when they do not achieve them all. Their strength springs from within them, and that is enough to motivate them to set the next goal.
Parents helpers in children’s effort
The times when parents were expected to know it all, thanks to an innate instinct, have passed irretrievably. In the century of information and rapid technological development, our and children’s behavioral patterns have changed radically. Almost no “recipe” from the past can be applied directly to the modern family environment. Now, it is understood that parents and children grow together through their mistakes, their misconceptions, their mutual retreats, and their brave reconciliations. And this is considered not only acceptable but also healthy.
A living example is the only true leader.
Therefore, they no longer have to bore themselves with unanswered questions nor to blame themselves for all the difficulties their child is likely to encounter in infancy or (pre)adolescence. The self-esteem that they themselves learn to have as personalities is the living example that will illuminate their children’s lives in all subsequent phases of their lives. And knowing when we need additional support in our parenting role is not only a sign of strength but also maturity.
What is stress?
Stress is a state of internal tension. In its mild form, it exists and accompanies many actions of the person and corresponds to the phase of wakefulness, during which the person’s readiness for action and reaction increases. When this reaction is of mild intensity, it helps the person to perceive difficulties or dangers more correctly and to react more promptly and effectively.
How stress arises
It has been proven that we are not all born the same in terms of temperament. Some are more or less anxious since birth.
Mistakes, and past failures that we did not take care of creating anxiety or phobia.
- Internal conflicts
Stress is often created by conflicts that take place inside us. Between our desires or expectations on the one hand and the limitations dictated by consciousness or environment on the other.
Anxiety can build up within us when we face dilemmas or need to make some big decisions. In the face of such situations, we may waver between two tendencies: to proceed with the solution or postpone it, say yes or no, and finally, to dare something risky.
- Risks and difficulties
In our daily life, there are many dangers, sometimes real and sometimes imaginary. Also, there are many obligations and problems that put pressure on us every day, demanding their solution.
- Doubt about our abilities
Anxiety easily arises within us when we doubt our worth or abilities. Here it should be noted that even small or insignificant obligations that we are unable to fulfill can create anxiety when these threaten our self-esteem.
The more we take burdens on our shoulders, the more the anxiety increases. So, extra responsibilities mean extra work and extra stress.
Upbringing and childhood experiences often fuel us with anxiety. If. for example, we had parents who in our childhood required of us more than we could yield or if we lived next to anxious people who constantly transmitted their own anxiety to us, it is natural that we also have anxiety. It has also been observed that mental pressure is different depending on the sex of the individual.